{"id":127,"date":"2019-07-06T09:19:57","date_gmt":"2019-07-06T13:19:57","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/giombettiassoc.com\/?p=127"},"modified":"2024-04-17T15:45:32","modified_gmt":"2024-04-17T19:45:32","slug":"the-death-triangle","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/giombettiassoc.com\/learning-lab\/the-death-triangle\/","title":{"rendered":"Beware the Death Triangle"},"content":{"rendered":"\n

NOTE: Some of the information in this blog may sound harsh to some, but that\u2019s intentional because of the danger and risks associated with this dynamic.<\/em> \"death EGO is a three-letter word widely misunderstood. Most people cringe or have some sort of negative reaction when they hear it. I\u2019d like to get you thinking differently. I promise, by the end of this brain blab, you\u2019ll see why E-G-O is a gift, unless you\u2019ve entered the \u201cDeath Triangle.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n


For years I\u2019ve heard the word ego thrown around, often too loosely. Rarely is the word used with an understanding of what it really means and the value it has. Usually people say something like \u201cOh, Jim\u2026yeah, he has a big ego.\u201d Or to explain why a colleague annoys people: \u201cShe\u2019s an egomaniac.\u201d Most of us are guilty of this.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Ego for Good: Momentum <\/h2>\n\n\n\n

Now, let\u2019s stop, engage our brains and think about what we\u2019re picturing and how we\u2019re feeling. The negative reaction we have is either because that individual manages their ego very poorly, or the person responding to it lacks ego.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

So, what do we picture when we think of ego? A silverback gorilla who loves being in charge and in control? The lead dog, asserting their influence and command? Use whatever analogy you prefer. Now ask yourself this question\u2026what would happen without those personalities in a meeting? While your first reaction might be \u201cpeace and quiet,\u201d is that what you really want in your organization? Will your firm grow if everyone sits back and says nothing? What about decisions; will they be made quickly? Will meetings be efficient? I bet the answer to those questions will often be \u201cNO.\u201dImagine you\u2019re in a conference room with your team. You have a real problem, the inevitable SNAFU just occurred, and with your largest customer. Time to solve the problem. \u201cOkay, team, let\u2019s figure this out. What should we do?\u201d Silence\u2026is anybody home? Are you people alive? Well, if you have zero ego on your team, that\u2019s exactly what you\u2019ll get: silence with everyone looking around the room wondering, \u201cwho\u2019s gonna step out?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Without a healthy level of ego, you\u2019re in trouble. Nothing gets done. Or, if it does, it takes too long, wasting your precious time, energy and more importantly, money. If someone doesn\u2019t take charge and assert themselves, nothing will happen. You\u2019ll become defunct and so will your business. I\u2019ll spare you the thousands of stories I could use to illustrate this point because you probably have plenty of your own.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Ego for Bad: The Death Triangle<\/h2>\n\n\n\n

A healthy ego is a good thing (read our blog, The Nexus of Vulnerability and Ego<\/a>) however, when combined with a couple other traits, it can become something I\u2019ve coined \u201cThe Death Triangle,\u201d which is what causes people to crash and burn.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The first part of the triangle often starts with ego, but that alone is not the killer. I know tons of people with big egos who are awesome leaders and great friends and wonderful parents and spouses.Here\u2019s the first wrong turn\u2014when ego is combined with super-competitiveness. When you go from taking charge to having to win. When it\u2019s not a \u201csometime\u201d thing, it\u2019s an \u201call the time\u201d thing. You become overly aggressive and run people over to get what you want. Congratulations, you won! But you\u2019ve managed to alienate all the people around you. Like ego, competitiveness can be a good thing. It all depends on how you manage it.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

That accounts for two parts of the triangle. Strong ego, check. Incredibly competitive, check. Off you go, ready to conquer the world. But then you take your next wrong turn, and the name of the road you just turned down is \u201cOver-Confident Avenue.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

You may have enjoyed success to this point, especially if you\u2019ve effectively managed your ego and competitiveness. You\u2019re a winner. You\u2019re smart.  All signs point to you being a total rock star. But my friend, you\u2019ve just become a legend in your own mind and a know-it-all.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

You may believe you\u2019re fine because you\u2019ve enjoyed success, and people say you\u2019re smart. Some of the worst offenders are engineers, accountants and tech wizards. They love data and their data tells them they are right. But after a certain point, people stop caring that you\u2019re right when you are constantly throwing it in their faces. I remember a quote a friend shared with me one day that someone had said to them: \u201cYou might be right, but you\u2019re not relevant.\u201d It stuck with me. People don\u2019t care if you\u2019re right all the time, especially when you act like it. Humility is a powerful thing.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Turning It Around<\/h2>\n\n\n\n

If you\u2019ve checked all three boxes\u2014ego, over-competitiveness and over-confidence\u2014you\u2019re in the Hall of Fame. Unfortunately, it\u2019s for being a jerk. You, Bernie Madoff and a room full of other know-it-alls surrounded by intelligent idiots.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you find yourself in the Death Triangle, it\u2019s time to turn around. The good news is you can save yourself. If, on your journey to the Death Triangle, you have managed to build strong relationships with people in your life, if you actually care and are able to show it, if you practice teamwork, if you emote compassion and empathy and you admit when you ARE wrong, you might be given some leeway. If you haven\u2019t, give us a call<\/a> and we\u2019ll figure out a way to help steer you back to balance.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

EGO is a three-letter word widely misunderstood. We\u2019ll explain why it is really a gift\u2026unless you\u2019ve entered the \u201cDeath Triangle.\u201d<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":4,"featured_media":2044,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[21,19,20],"class_list":["post-127","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-learning-lab","tag-competitiveness","tag-ego","tag-over-confidence"],"acf":[],"yoast_head":"\nBeware the Death Triangle | Learning Lab | Giombetti Associates<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"EGO is a three-letter word widely misunderstood. 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